I’d like to say we stray back to the dark side because we are soft and weak willed…however, as a certified arm chair psychologist, I’d say it had something to do with dopamine We go back cause it feels so good and our brain talks tricks us into it with reasoning and trickery. More times than I’d like to admit I blackout and wake only to find myself in the line at McDonalds. This repeatedly happens despite knowing damn well that no good will come of it and disappointment is at the end of the rainbow.
I’ve long given up on giving up treats, sweets and horse meat - however I’ve discovered I get similar cravings when it comes to spending. I’m no raging consumerist but who doesn’t like buying something that you don’t really need but DO need (you know what I’m talking about). Dopamine is released here too. In a world filled with choice, the possibilities are endless and hunt is all that much more exciting. You’ll always need something…
Lately, I’ve been contemplating buying a knife. I examined why and I attributed it to a combination of things:
⁃ Waking up with a creepy feeling in North Vancouver* and the delusion of safety that a large knife brings.
⁃ Disappointment with my current knife. It folds and is small and difficult to clean
⁃ I want to buy something
The first two points make logical sense - though the first one is a pretty weak argument. The second point is weak in terms of buying a 7 inch Ka-Bar - really I just need a fixed blade equivalent to my current knife. The third eclipses the others and is really the main drive…my setup is pretty solid - possibly already overkill (in terms of outdoor equipment). I can’t say I really NEED anything. I want to need something. I think the whole ‘let’s buy’ something thing is exacerbated by the fact I have a lot of time to think about it and I’m starting to reap the financial benefits of living in a van.
A new knife would have very little impact on my life. Here’s the kicker - I’ve found myself agonizing over which model to get. At first I thought this was because knives aren’t cheap and there are lots of design options. I like this aspect of shopping, trying to determine which is the absolute best purchase - but have found it gets pretty ridiculous sometimes. Sometimes you need to shit or get off the pot.
An interesting article popped into my RSS feed today.
It was about Fredkin’s Paradox. It states that the closer two options are to each other, the less likely choosing one option over the other will have any impact - which means more time will be spent agonizing over minutiae (this would be when my agonizing gets ridiculous). In my case, the impact a new knife of any design would have on my life is pretty negligible - especially for what I really need it for, I probably could get away with a plastic butter knife.
I'm generally trying to keep my purchases pared down - so I figured if I truly need something - it will be glaringly clear (ie. the belt showing through my tread). With this in mind - one strategy I could use is to just keep fantasizing about it, so that I don’t move onto the next “need”.
*aka “The Man In a Van Getting Creeped Out” paradox
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